ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kerry Patterson is coauthor of four bestselling books, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, The director of the agency I work for has decided (after three years) to call us in every month or so to discuss what’s going on in our departments and …
Dear Crucial Skills, My boss is out of control. He fabricates facts to support his personal agenda. He applies or ignores corporate policies at his whim. He makes blatant displays of favoritism–punishing some employees severely while overlooking others who do the exact same thing. He accuses employees falsely, and then creates evidence if needed to …
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kerry Patterson is coauthor of four bestselling books, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, My problem is the type of meetings my boss runs. There are few dynamics, the same items appear on the minutes, people give a 30 second report on these items, …
Dear Crucial Skills, I am in a real dilemma. My father has just turned 59 and he is showing signs of dementia. I do not know how to approach him. I am worried I will make things worse for him by bringing his attention to his health, even though I know he must be aware …
Dear Crucial Skills, After a year and a half working with a new boss, I cannot get past the pure chaos in which decisions are made. This really came home to me this last week while we were on the road and the constant changes in the schedule and lack of planning made our team …
I’d like some help on receiving criticism. My problem is that there is one executive in my organization who finds fault with my work and I find myself immediately on the defensive. I am intimidated by her confrontational style. I do not report to her, but she has taken several opportunities to critique my performance. Sometimes I would like to say “don’t shoot the messenger,” “I didn’t create the timeline,” or “it’s not my fault that your VP doesn’t share information with you,” but I also want to learn to buck it up.
Any ideas on how not to turn into the Tasmanian Devil or the Doe in the Headlights?
What do you do when the people who report to you seem uncomfortable in your presence? I do my best to create an open atmosphere and yet people seem guarded. There is a lot of fake smiling and handshaking going on. Worst of all, I’m suspicious that the people who work for me aren’t sharing their honest views. Sometimes I get the feeling that they’re telling me what they think I want to hear. And yet, I can’t figure out what I’ve done to create this unhealthy tension.
Dear Crucial Skills, I am the first to admit that I do not well during Crucial Conversations—especially if the person I am having the conversation with gets angry. I immediately go silent. Then I hold my true feelings inside until I can’t stand it any longer and I let my own stories out, usually causing …
Dear Crucial Skills, Sometimes I look at the possibility of holding a Crucial Conversation and wonder if it’s really worth it. I know that the other person isn’t likely to change and that he or she may become upset with me—maybe even try to get even with me—so overall it looks too risky to speak …
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Joseph Grenny is coauthor of four bestselling books, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, You talk a lot about “Making It Safe” by helping people know you respect them. What if you don’t? My manager is manipulative and deceitful, and I despise her. So, …
